The Fantasy Theory

I have a confession. When it comes to Fantasy Football, I don't like white guys unless they're my QB. Some may construe that as being racist, which might be true if I were not in fact, white. Yes, I think most of my race sucks at football. When I see a white guy in the backfield, I take a bathroom break. When a white receiver catches a pass and runs past someone, I invite the neighbors over and we have a little party. Black dudes make up most of the NFL as it is no secret that for sheer genetic make-up, they are superior athletically.

Which is why Wes Welker is such an anomaly.

Welker, the Patriots go-to slot receiver, finished as a Top-10 Fantasy WR this season, totaling the most receptions in the league (123). His cutting ability and quickness are forces to be reckon with. Unfortunately for me, I've never believed in him enough to draft him. I always thought he would make a great Flex play, but with that philosophy I was never willing to draft him higher than a WR3. By that time, he wasn't available. Certainly, he has proven to be a WR1 on most accounts, especially a PPR league. And just when I started to believe in this Oklahoma white boy and his perennial fantasy all-star awesomeness, he tears up his knee in a meaningless Week 17 game against the Texans.

And who is Welker's replacement in the playoffs? Uhh, if my eyes don't deceive me, Wes Welker is Wes Welker's replacement. Oh wait, no, that's Julian Edelman, another surprisingly little fast white guy. Belichick is so smart he's developed his own cloning machine. Forget Spygate, the Patriots are creating little fast white guys in the bowels of Gillette stadium. Anyway, Edelman comes out and scores two touchdowns in his first playoff game. Not bad.

The reason this is all worth talking about is fantasy owners will have quite a conundrum come 2010 draft time. Welker might still be rehabbing his repaired knee come September (the process takes eight months and he was injured in January). In all likelihood, he will be just "healthy" enough to tempt fantasy owners into drafting him. And they'll have to pay a hefty price. Welker will probably go in the third or fourth round, giving his owners their best or second best WR- on paper. Mark my words, that knee will not be ready. I cannot remember a time where a player has had a significant knee injury the previous year and returned to his full potential the following year.

Meanwhile, Edelman makes an intriguing draft pick for all the opposite reasons. Brady is going to chuck it to his slot guy all game long, and if it's not Welker, it will be Edelman. Edelman could probably be snatched up for cheap once you grab three or four less risk/more potential WR's.

I finally believe in Wes Welker and his awesome whiteyness. I just don't believe he'll be the same guy in 2010. And for his high draft price, once again, he will not be on my team. This year though, I don't think I'll be jealous.